How to be Thin

According to the USDA, Americans spend $42 billion a year on diet programs/books. (That puts our contributions to tsunami relief or other foreign aid in perspective. While much of the world worries about finding enough food to survive, we spend dozens of billions of dollars on trying to figure out how to stop eating.)

I have an idea for how Americans could cut their annual diet-related spending by some $41 billion dollars: Give a mere billion dollars to me (no credit cards accepted) in exchange for my guaranteed, fool-proof plan to lose weight.

Here it is, the Stuart Buck weight-loss plan:

1) Eat moderate portions of healthy food. This means little to no sugar (including drinks and desserts), little to no processed flour (only whole grains), lean meats, fruits, and vegetables.

2) Exercise regularly. More specifically: Lift weights two days a week, and engage in strenuous aerobic exercise (running, biking, etc.) for 25-30 minutes the other 4 or 5 days a week. (Strenuous = gasping for breath.)

That's it. Anyone who truthfully follows those two guidelines will find it nearly impossible to become (or to stay) fat.


Stuart Buck